Happy Halloween! I hope you’re having a wonderful, spooky season! It’s the time to dress up and have fun with your pals before Bonfire Night, Thanksgiving and the ultimate run up to Christmas. I can’t wait for December 1st, when I can listen to Buble’s Christmas album on repeat. However, we’ve still got Halloween to get through.
If you’re a Warwick student and you’re unsure of what to dress up as for Halloween, then may I suggest a few trendy outfits that you can try?
Obviously, if you want to be super trendy, you’re going to dress up as the Koan. People sacrifice themselves to the Koan every Halloween, so by getting ready in this slutty little number, you’ll be able to pull the person of your dreams. To dress up as the Koan, wear all white and throw some fluorescent lights over you. Preferable light colours include blue and red, but this doesn’t really matter because people will be jealous of your garms. For maximum effects, spin the whole night in a slow manner and make creeking noises to get a full Halloween effect.
We all spend our time on this hallowed bus, so for Halloween, why not recreate everyone’s favourite mode of transport? To be a U1, dress in all red attire and paint your body red, but make sure to leave some flecks of your skin without any paint on, to really get the impression that the buses are breaking down. Once you’ve done this, rip the carpet out of your bedroom and stick it on your body in odd places, adding a bell saying push. For maximum effect, don’t turn up to the party that you’ve been invited to because you were not in service.
Purple is the beverage in which we all love to consume but which fills us full of regret the morning after. To dress up as purple, one must plan the outfit a long time in advance so they are not late for circle. They must wash their hair in purple, cook with ‘purple oil’, drink purple, eat purple like a soup and only write in purple ink. Any deviation from purple results in treason against the university and will be punished by being covered in glitter to take away from the purple fun.
A martyr of the Warwick cause, Disco Dave is the main reason why many of us want to be at Warwick Uni. We couldn’t imagine a week without the dulcet tones of Disco Dave screeching through the mic ‘WHO’S GOING TO GET LAID?’ over Fatboy Scoop. To be Disco Dave, you need to get your mullet on, preferably blonde. Also, make sure that you’re the oldest one in the room by at least 15 years, playing music that’s a bit old but we all love it anyway. To maximise this look, walk around telling everyone you’re an 80’s montage.
To be a Warwick goose, you already have to be a BNOC. You can’t just be a Warwick goose, one must have already earned the right to BE a Warwick goose. To dress up as a goose, stick your toes together so you have webbed feet and find a group of BNOC’s to cross the road with so you hold up the path for a good few minutes. Then, find a body of water (the lake by Maths and Stats will always suffice) and jump in. Forget the rules, it’s Halloween, get wet and wild. Make plenty of goose related jokes, the girls will go ‘quackers’ for you.
Put simply, cover yourself in profanities. Wear the word ‘Shit’ on your forehead with pride and a top saying ‘Fuck me, I’m horny’. Team this with a sweaty body which makes you feel like you haven’t washed in a few days and a watered down Vodka Redbull and you’re good to go. Carry a strobe light that’s so bright that people can’t actually look at you for more than 10 seconds without wallowing into self-pity. For maximum effect, hold a party with two rooms in which both rooms are playing exactly the same music.
Here you go, some wonderful Warwick ways to get into the season of ghouls and being scared. We can’t all be as scary as the queues in Cafe Library and putting your coat in the cloakroom for Pop, but we can all try.