Hello! Happy Sunday, and a happy bank holiday to you all! I sadly won’t be chilling in the sun, as I’m stilllll revising for my exams. I feel like I started an absolute age ago, but alas I’m very near to the start of exam season. I’m proud of how much knowledge I’ve got in my brain on such a variety of topics, and I’m pretty impressed with myself that I’ve not had a crying breakdown*, because normally I get stupidly overstressed that I don’t know something, when in reality I do and I just get apprehensive.
*There’s still every chance of a crying breakdown, but we’ll keep positive and hope that I don’t!
In order to try and prevent myself from having a breakdown, I’ve been reading the wonderful self-help book ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig. I’d seen plenty of incredible reviews on Twitter, and whilst I’m reading it, it puts everything into perspective. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and things will get better and exam stress is such a small part of my life that I shouldn’t let it get me down.
I also came to realise just how much I’ve grown as a person in the last few years, and how proud of myself I am. Heck, during the exam period over the next two weeks, I’ll grow even more (and I hopefully won’t make any mistakes because that will be detrimental to my degree outcome #prayforthe2:1
So, let’s take a short but sweet return to when I finished school in 2012. I was a plucky, 16 year old, a bit over-confident and thinking that I could start a degree as a Postgraduate. That’s not even a joke, but I wish it was. I didn’t realise that you do an undergraduate degree, then a Postgrad, I just thought you could start at where you want. I am an idiot, I know.
16 year old Sophie just wanted to get as many A*’s as she could, and wasn’t necessarily that fussed about where she’d end up. She knew that she wanted to go to a good university, and knew that History was her favourite subject at school ever since her teacher had picked her to be the queen and wear a crown in class. Again, this did happen. Am I Queen Elizabeth I proclaiming the Oath of Authority, I hope so.
Sophie didn’t have a plan. She wasn’t coasting, oh no, her room was full of revision posters and notes, but she didn’t seem to have a career path set in concrete like school had wanted her to.
Along came 18 year old Sophie, leaving Sixth Form. She was destined to go to either Warwick or Royal Holloway to study History, and was glad that her history coursework was handed in because her teacher made her cry once a fortnight due to the overbearing stress. Again, yes this did happen, but we’ve moved on, thankfully. There is a reason why I steer away from German history, and this is a MAJOR factor.
She’d also come to realise that if she wanted to get her dream job (something in the media at this point), then she needed to do a bit of research and work out what she needed to do in order to get there. Sophie at 18 was getting her butt in gear; she was excited, she was hopeful. But she didn’t know if she could do it.
Now, 20 year old Sophie is sitting in her room at University, typing this blog post with the future in her mind and the past on her pinboard. She looks up from her desk and can see just how much fun she is having. Show cards, photobooth memories, mementos from tours across the continent and a fair few Katherine Ryan flyers. She looks to the right, and sees her frame full of Edinburgh Fringe ticket stubs because she was confident enough to go to a festival by herself, and meet her pals. She’s opportunistic, she’s willing, she’s fun. She’s what she wanted to be.
Dare I say it, Sophie now is finally feelin herself, and she’s bloody proud of the person that she’s become. She knows where she wants to be and she knows how to get there. You may remember that I was talking to a guy from Buzzfeed about potential summer work experience, and lo and behold he replied once again! He also invited me down to the BUZZFEED HQ for a one-to-one tour of the office, and see if it’s something I want to do in the future! I’m finally getting to where I want to be.
16 year old Sophie had never read a Buzzfeed article. 20 year old Sophie reads them all the time to procrastinate.
So, whilst you’re in ‘revision hell’ (you’ll realise why I used this phrase if you follow the link at the bottom of the post), take a few minutes back to reflect upon your own self development, and you’ll be astonished at just how far you have come. It makes you feel great, and it puts everything into perspectives.
Exams aren’t the be all and end all, yes they matter HUGELY at that particular point in the time and you have to keep working if you want to do well. But, the only person that you need to please is yourself. If you’ve done that, and you keep that mantra in mind, you’ll always be at inner peace.
I’m actually making a path for myself, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me. Even if revision is swallowing up any form of happiness, it won’t last forever. Soon, I’ll look back and be in awe of my work ethic (like Weber was about the Calvinists, am I right?). However, I can’t revise all the time. I was on the radio this week playing a game and because of it, Chris Stark may be coming to Leamington. Absolute RESULT. Go to 1 hour and 43 minutes in to hear my awkward giggling and super Southern accent.