Does the cupid need to strike?

Hello again! I’ve reached that elusive stage that every humanities student looks forward to in a term at university; reading week! I’ll have rehearsals every day, and I need to do an essay and an essay plan in it (if that much work can happen, my schedule is extremely busy!) but I’m looking forward to having a lecture and seminar free week. In this half term, I think I’ve had an epiphany with the work I’m doing. I’m actually beginning to understand everything around all of my modules, and don’t feel like I’m blagging as much in seminars anymore, which is nice. I also THINK I’ve had a breakthrough with my essay writing. After one of my fab friends in the year above sent me her essay, I finally see how I need to structure my essays, and hopefully I’ll see an improvement in my feedback. Plus, I’ve done my essays 2 weeks early, which is pretty much UNHEARD of at university, so I’m bucking the trend.

(There is no link here, I couldn’t think of one, sorry… clearly I need to work on my ‘topic sentences’, ‘linking sentences’ and fluidity, 2:1 for effort).

One event that is happening at the start of Reading Week is the annual celebration every February 14th. Valentine’s Day. The day of love, good will and seeing soppy statuses from girls that their ‘man got them a Michael Kors watch’ and a Millie’s Cookie iced with I Love You. According to the dictionary definition of the day, a Valentine is a person to whom one sends a valentine card or with whom one is romantically involved. At school, this was always the case, you wanted to see how many people love you. But, as you get older, the amount of friends in your close circle couple off into long-term relationships, and you can very easily be left feeling alone and wondering what part of your personality boys absolutely hate.

Now, I wouldn’t exactly call myself lucky in love. I’ve had my fair share of boys who want nothing else but a Netflix and Chill session, being in a Friends with Benefits situation, or just talking to you for company, and then mugging you off for a younger, ‘prettier’ (don’t even get me started on this, it’s such a subjective term) doppleganger. Can we go back to times when we were younger, and receiving a card from a crush in your year and school made your week?

When I was in Year 3, I vividly remember receiving a card and homemade cookies from someone in my class because they had a little crush on me. I still think it’s absolutely adorable. Recently, I found him on Facebook and saw that he had a girlfriend. Now, we’ve not spoken since Year 6, but a little part of me remembered that moment in 2004 and I couldn’t help but coo at his new relationship and know that his missus has got a wonderful boyfriend.

Kisschase was a popular game at school. Running around the playground with your friends trying to kiss them. Even when we were young, our sexually promiscuous nature was being finetuned into working out different parts about ourselves. Who was our type? Who did we want to kiss us? Who did we want to stay away from? How many times could you kiss? The innocence and naivety of Kisschase will never be rekindled as an adult. Now, it’s just ‘Odds On X making out with Y whilst in this position’ in a public place with everyone around you egging you on.

Chuck
My dream man, Ed Westwick. A girl can dream?

As I’ve got older, and especially since being at university, the L word has been thrown about in many conversations. It happens. You get with one guy in a club, and that’s it, you’ve pictured your new married name, what your kids could be, and where you see yourselves as a grandparent. ‘Love’ is too easy to throw around these days. But, what is love? Does Valentine day celebrate the lustful nature within us?

Love: a strong feeling of affection/a great interest in something. It doesn’t have to be a person. It can be your favourite hobby, TV show, hot drink, clothing brand, celebrity, platonic relationship with a best friend. Lust: strong sexual desire. A strong difference between these words, yet as a society, we use these interchangeably. Whether to change our vocabulary or describe a night out, we, including myself, cannot help it. Falling in love is a process that takes time, but once it happens, the feeling is there forever.

Like I say, I’ve had my fair share of guys who I’ve got with and thought they had the ‘X’ factor. I may not have entered a relationship, but the ‘Ex’ factor is strong. Don’t get me wrong, at the time, it felt bliss being in their company. Now, seeing someone who you’d sent a drunk message with the ‘L’ word to makes me cringe within myself.

Love is such a difficult thing to classify. Valentine’s day aims to do this, by glamourising being with someone on that special day, if you’ve been with them for years, or it’s a swipe-right situation. Where will I be? In an all day rehearsal, looking on Facebook, probably feeling a bit envious of my friends who are in stable relationships, while the fuckboys I have celebrate their new relationships with their next girlfriend.

4
Love is not just boyfriends, and girlfriends, but your best friends.

I’m not anti-boy at ALL. In fact, some of my best friends are boys and I really do ‘love’ them to pieces. But, this Valentine’s Day I’ll be loving myself for who I am. As the great Christina Aguilera sings, ‘I Don’t Need a Man’. I mean, a man would be lovely and I have my crushes, I’m human. But for the first time in a long time, I’m enjoying myself for myself and I don’t want anyone to knock it, even worse, a boy who snapchats you randomly with a winking face. It’s a no from me.

So, what am I saying? I’m saying, anyone can celebrate Valentine’s Day. If you spend it with the people who mean a great deal to you, and you’re able to have a great day, Valentine’s Day is a success. Whether you’re with a partner or not is anyone’s decision. We can all do with a bouquet of flowers and a hug from our best friends every day. Love is a tricky term to define, but love comes in so many forms, that Valentine’s Day should celebrate all forms of love, not just those who ‘a ring on it’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY

Enjoy,

Sophie x

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