Hello, this is just a very short blog post allowing me to write down my feelings and thoughts, but sharing them for the world on a very public domain. I’ve had such a crazy past week both here and in matters at home and I need to write them down in order to comprehend the full extent of recent occurences.
In the past few days, the shape of my family has altered massively. On 16th June 2015, my aunt gave birth to a baby girl which means I have a new baby cousin! I’m so excited to meet her and can’t wait to welcome her into the way my sister and I are treated like spoilt princesses. However, my family also came very close to the antithesis of birth. Death is a very scary thing, and fortunately, something which has rarely come into my life. Apart from the tragic way in which my brother was sadly brought into, and so quickly taken out of this world, and how my great-aunt sadly passed away of breast cancer, my experiences with death have been relatively small in comparison to many of my peers. I am very fortunate to be in that position; I truly love all of my family and will always be there for them.
However, in the past few months and days, some of the closest people have come very close to meeting the grim reality that life will one day end and I will have to live the rest of my life without them. Through the whole of my life, my grandparents have always been there for me, making sure I’m safe and well. I know that every action and choice I make, they have always been proud. They enjoy nothing more than knowing I’m safe at university, and I always want to be reassured that they are safe and well when I am away from them. But, with my granddad becoming weak, and my nan coming extremely close to passing away this weekend, I have to slowly come to face with the harsh reality that my grandparents are not as well as they were when I was a child.
Finding out about how critically ill my nan become in the situation that I did (on public transport) seriously rocked how I viewed the wellbeing of my family. I felt helpless and immediately wished I was going on a train to my home, rather than university. Yet, when Mum fully filled me in on the situation, I became more appreciative of the situation and realised that she is getting better. I don’t fully know the reason behind why my nan suddenly became so ill, however I sincerely hope that this gives both her and my granddad the impetus to stop smoking. It’s one of my biggest wishes for my whole life, for them to stop smoking, and it may actually happen. It’s a shame that an incident as great as this had to occur in order for the consequential action to be put in practice.
Also, can I say a public thank you to the family who could clearly see I was a damsel in distress on the train and gave me a tissue to wipe away my tears. I was clearly a broken down mess for a good portion of the journey and it was a lovely, thoughtful action. There are many lovely people in this world.
What I’m trying to say, but not in a clear, literate way is that anything can happen at any time. From welcoming a brand new life into the world to appreciating the life of someone who has made your world, family is always there. It can change shape, people can come and go, we mourn, we celebrate but in the end we’re always there for our family, however much we love them. Yesterday was Father’s Day, but it was also ‘everyone in my family is alive and well and recovering and I could not be more thankful’ day. Because I’ve been discussing my nan, the song HAS to be her favourite song. Obviously, it’s Insomnia by Faithless. Whenever this comes on, she boogies the whole night away with the classic finger point and side step. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iD6An7tKfAw
Enjoy (your family and your days),